A Light on Darkness

Winter is a time to slow down, turn inward, reflect. As we spent the fall harvesting the fruits of our labor and effort, winter gives us the space to rejuvenate and build up energy for spring. Often represented by a time of darkness, it actually signifies the very moment we begin shifting into light.

The first day of winter, the solstice, is in fact the darkest and shortest day of the year, which means every day after becomes lighter and longer. I feel this is important to explore symbolically. Often our darkest periods are the first step towards transformation. You may have heard that a "breakdown leads to a breakthrough."

As nature shows us, darkness is just as much part of the cycle as light. If we deny it, we are living in an unreality. Yet how often do we ignore, distract, rationalize, manipulate or reject it in ourselves? Only allowing the "good" or desirable side of ourselves and life in general. A favorite quote from one of my teachers that I share often is "My power is not in perfection, it lies in the totality of my humanity."

I'm not saying you have to like, want, or seek darkness, it just has to be allowed and accepted. By avoiding, distracting, resisting, you continue to be controlled by the very thing you don't want. When you create space for both darkness and light, you begin to choose your life's direction and experience this sense of peace regardless of preference or outcomes.

You might be thinking... this all sounds great, but how exactly do I let the darkness in?

3 steps...

Feeling. Feeling it all. Sometimes you may have to wait for a time that is safe or comfortable. For example, if something comes up at work or with a loved one and you need to show up a certain way in that moment, just come back to the situation when you have some quiet time or privacy. Close your eyes and bring the situation into your awareness, all the details, and then start to notice what you feel in the body. Don't hold back, let it be fully felt.

Breathing with it. Recently, I worked with a client who used the breath for stressful times, however it was being used as a way to avoid what was present. We can use the breath to calm triggers or physiological reactions, but if we never come back to feeling what is there, it will stay lodged in our bodies & psyche.

When you bring a situation to mind, it is important to start with feeling what comes up, allow it to fully arise in the body, notice where it is in the body, what the sensations are, and then begin to breathe with it.

Observing it as it is & staying with it as sensation. As you move through part 1 & 2, you might hear the mind show up in a few ways... rationalizing why, reasoning or explaining, controlling or defining it, manipulating, adding a story, etc. Release the commentary and judgement and return to observing the sensations in your body as just that. If it changes or moves in the body, stay with it, breathe with it.

Slowing down the breath can naturally create a parasympathetic response in the body. When you are breathing with what's present, it is not to change it or get rid of it, it is just to know you can be with it.