Life Lessons: 7 Reasons to Break Your Back
It’s been 7 months since I broke my back* and I can honestly say it may have been one of the greatest experiences in my life. So instead of actually going off and breaking your own back, just take what I learned and make it your own.
Here are 7 things, month by month, phase by phase, I learned through my recovery.
The Accident: You are stronger than you think. We rarely test the extreme of what we are capable of, so give yourself some credit and don’t wait for a life changing event to test what’s possible. In other words, don’t shortchange yourself, don’t stop yourself before you try, don’t tell yourself you can’t, just do it and know that whatever happens you can work through it, you can figure it out.
Taken 1 week after my accident. Every time I showered, I would look at my back in the mirror, fascinated by how my body protected myself in the fall.
My Return to Colorado: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is the formula for success. It might seem easier to just do it yourself, but growth comes from the openness to others’ guidance and advice- not just during challenges, also when the going is good. Arnold Schwarzenegger states it perfectly: But it is not true that I am self-made. Like everyone, to get to where I am, I stood on the shoulders of giants. My life was built on a foundation of parents, coaches, and teachers; of kind souls who lent couches or gym back rooms where I could sleep; of mentors who shared wisdom and advice; of idols who motivated me from the pages of magazines (and, as my life grew, from personal interaction).
When It Felt Like Forever to Go: Attitude is a choice. Shit happens and you have two choices: sit in your shit or change your pants. Which sounds more appealing? But seriously, you can’t change what has happened and you realistically don’t have much control of what will happen, what you do have control of is how you respond to it. People often commented how “well” I was handling my accident, and my simple response was “it’s better than alternative.” Not saying it’s always easy, just know that you are in charge of your perspective, nobody else. Take responsibility and choose how you want to live your life.
Getting Back to My Activities: Be present to progress. Many of us live in this fondue pot of “I could have done better” and “hit my goal, on to the next.” Stop minimizing your accomplishments and practice self compassion. I’m not saying to lose your drive, just take a moment every once in awhile to look back and acknowledge the wins, no matter how “small” they are.
What Worked Before Isn’t Working Now: “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”- Pema Chodron And don’t try to manhandle the learning, you probably don’t have the slightest clue what it is you are needing to learn. If something is lingering or you are stuck at a roadblock, embrace whatever it is and stop trying to “figure it out.” Just. Let Go.
When Fear & Ego Hijacked the Driver’s Seat: Focus on the process. The grandiosity of results or the destination can feel overwhelming. Focus on action, the small steps, the things you know how to do, and the rest will inevitably follow. When I got back on the wall, I was so absorbed in completing climbs or getting to the bolt to clip that I lost track of what would actually get me there- each move, where to place my feet, my breath. When I refocused my energy on the things I knew and the moves every step along the way, I released the panic stress of “I gotta get there” and actually got there. Magic?!? Nope, just logic.
Looking back at the summit from a mountaineering course in the San Juans less than 6 months after my accident
I Do What I Want: Trust the universe. Call it what you want- swim downstream, leap of faith, stars align, fate. I know it’s super “yogi” of me to say, but I am a huge universe supporter. I have actively pursued more of my dreams and goals in the last few months, than I previously would in a year. Throw it out there, whatever it is, and allow the universe to have your back… and it might be easier to trust the universe when you start to truly believe that you are stronger than you think.
Bonus round: All Day, E’ery Day. Be disciplined with your gratitude. Even when you wake up not feeling grateful, find something. We have fallen into a culture of pointing out the negatives and always finding things that are wrong, which inevitably wires our brains accordingly. By practicing gratitude regularly, you will begin to rewire your brain to more naturally notice all the awesomeness around you.
*For those who don’t know, I broke my back in an indoor climbing accident when I missed a hold, not clipped into the auto belay & fell from 30 feet.