The Never Talked About Bail Out
Last week I did the Wasatch Ultimate Ridge Link-up… errrr, Bail-out.
As outdoors[wo]men and athletes, we rarely advertise the times our objectives are not accomplished. You might not bring it up to people who knew you were getting after it or have the non ego-denting reason that you didn’t complete it. I am a competitor, there is no question, and I feel immense joy when I have the opportunity to push my limits, rise above challenges, & knock off goals. This last year, I have been working on what feels like the harder path to take- bowing out, not sending, bailing, turning around, incompletion.
You might be thinking, just say it, the F-word, FAILURE? Not in the least bit. Failure would be letting my ego take the wheel and getting seriously injured, sick, or dead.
With this idea of incompletion or bailing out, you are forced to get real with yourself as to WHY you are doing what you do in the mountains or as an athlete. Even if you do enjoy the sufferfest type 2 adventure, dig deep and seriously ask yourself if your objective is for that pure enjoyment or if you are trying to prove something to yourself, to others, or to fill a void. How do you know where the drive is coming from? Ask yourself how would I feel if I didn’t accomplish my goal?
What is your narrative? Does the “failure” steal the spotlight of the experience? Or even worse, are YOU the “failure”?
As we sat on the top of Dromedary Peak, the third of twenty one peaks, our thirty hour goal felt desperately out of reach. We had been moving much slower than expected, the energy level & morale was quite low, there seemed to be a mellow bail out point where we were, so I called out the elephant on the [non]trail. Originally, it was my objective and nobody ever wants to let their adventure partner down in achieving his/her goal, so I knew it was important for me to make it more than clear that I am okay not finishing. There was the initial response of “saying it [bailing] makes it a reality.”
Even though I had high hopes for this gnarly scramble, ultimately, I was doing it to explore somewhere new & move through the mountains using different skillsets. Had I done that already? Yes. Could I do more of it on a smaller scale over my next couple days in SLC? Yes. Could I attempt and/ or complete the WURL in the future? Yes.
After a few iterations of where & when to make our exit, we chose to head out from Dromedary. Still some route finding, scrambling, and a solid few hours ahead of us. There was a sense of relief when we reached the road and started our hitch back to the trailhead. Relief, not regret. That’s how I knew I was doing the WURL…B for the love of the mountains.
The start — 2. First summit took longer than expected, already thinking about our situation with food & water — 3. Kept going, amazing ridges — 4. Fun low 5th class — 5. So far to go — 6. Bailing out which was still fun & adventurous scrambling